Text taken from

"The history of four-footed beasts and serpents"

 

London, Printed by E. Cotes, for G. Sawbridge, 1658

 

 

I, M. Grunter Hog-fan little Pig have my own hand, made this my last Will and Testament, which because I could not write with my own hand, I have caused it to edited by other. 

 

Magirus the Cook said unto me: „Come hither thou underminer of houses, thou rooter up of land, fearful, fugitive little Pig, I must this day take away thy life.“ 

 

To whom Hog-fan made this answer: „If I have done any harm, if I have offended, if I have trod in pieces any vesslels of worth under my feet, then I intreat thee good M. Cook pardon me, and grant me my request.“

 

But Magirus the Cook said: „Run (sir Kitchin-boy) and bring me a knife out of the Kitchin, that I may let this little Pig bleed.“ Presently I, the little Pig was taken by the servants and by them led the xvi. day of the Calends of Torch-light into the place of Cool-worts, when Fiery-furnace and Pepper-spice were we Consuls, and when I saw no remedy but that I must die, I entreated the Cook but an hours spacet to make my Will. 

 

Which when I had obtained, I call'd my Parents and Friends about me, and made my Will in manner following: 

 

Of all my meat and provision left behinde me, first I give unto Bore-brown my father 30 bushels of Buck-mast. Item I give to my mother Town-sow, 40 bushels of the best Wheat. Item I give my sister Whine-pig 30 bushels of Barley, and for my bowels I bestow them in manner following; I bequeath my bristles to the Coblers and Shoomakers, my brains to Wranglers, my ears to the deaf, my tongue to Lawyers and Pratlers, my trails to the Tripe-makers, my thighes to the the Pye-makers, my loins to women, my bladder to boys, my tail to young maids, my muscles to shameless Dancers, my ancle-bones to Lackyes and Hunters, my hoofs to Thieves. 

 

Item I give unto this (unworthy to be named) Cook, the Knife and the Pestle, that I brought out of the spinny of an Oak, into my stye, and so let him tie his neck with a halter. Also my Will is, that there be made for me a monument, wherein shall be ingraven in Golden Letters, this inscription or title:

„M. Grunter Hog-fon, Little-pig, lived nine hundred ninty nine years and a half, and if he had lived but one half year longer, he had ived a thousand years. And you my Lovers and best Counsellors of my life, I beseech you do good to my dead carcasse, salt it well with the best season of Nutmegs, Pepper, and Hony, that so my name and memory may remain for evermore."

And you my Masters and Kindred which have been present at the making of my Will, I pray you cause your marks to be put thereunto.

 

Witnesses;

 

Wood-hogs mark, Bristle-backs mark, Town-boars mark, Mountain-hogs mark, Swill-hogs mark, Marsh-hogs mark

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By Topsell, Edward, 1572-1625 , Gessner, Conrad, 1516-1565 , Moffett, Thomas, 1553-1604, Rowland, John, M.D. 

https://www.biodiversitylibrary.org/item/151513#page/528/mode/1up

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